


You're The Only One In The Dark I See

by londonbird



Series: All I Ever Wanted Is Here In My Arms [4]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Inspired by Real Events, Love, M/M, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 06:50:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14636343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/londonbird/pseuds/londonbird
Summary: Fernando fears his time at Atlético might be coming to an end. Sergio is busy with RM but tries to support him as much as he can.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AndalusianSunshine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndalusianSunshine/gifts).



> Title from LIGHTS - In The Dark I See.
> 
> _Cause it's you who brings the morning_  
>  And you who takes the sun when I sleep  
> You're the only that stuck around  
> For me when I was losing faith in what I thought I would be  
> You're the only one in the dark I see  
> 

_February 13, 2018._

Fernando was in the living room, absentmindedly checking some emails in an attempt to distract himself. His eyes darted over to the clock every few minutes, heart growing heavier every time the dreaded moment moved closer.

It had been a rather frustrating day so far, anyway; he’d felt unaccomplished after training, dwelling on some missed shots and bad tackles, the feeling of not being good enough once again, and he’d been counting on Sergio to comfort him. But instead he had come home to an empty house, killing time for nearly two hours until Sergio finally returned from his training session, much later than planned because of captain’s responsibilities or whatever.

Fernando hadn’t been able to hide his disappointment. It always got to him when their time together was cut short and today especially, with only a few hours left until Sergio had to leave again to meet the team and then they wouldn’t see each other for almost three days. It was normal for them, a regular occurrence at this time of the season. It shouldn’t be a big deal so Fernando hadn’t voiced his feelings, but the tension had been there the whole time during lunch.

Afterwards, Sergio had gone to pack his things for concentration, leaving Fernando to himself. He had tried to get some work done but he was unable to focus with the tension between him and Sergio unresolved. Fernando hated when things were like this, but even after being together for two years and going through this scenario regularly he still hadn’t found an adequate way of dealing with being separated from Sergio. 

And maybe it wasn’t so much the fact that they spent so much time apart and more the consequences of it - never being able to develop and maintain a proper routine together, constantly being pulled apart and having to match schedules, to the point where he felt they were both just living their own lives that sometimes randomly coincided when they happened to be home at the same time.

He had known it would be like this, that it wouldn’t be possible to have a normal relationship or family life and that football would always come first, often get in the way, and most of the time they managed to deal with it. Yet there were days where he felt those circumstances were almost unbearable, and today was one of those days. He’d had a bad day and he longed for a quiet night in together with Sergio. It had been too long since they’d last spent time together like that.

Fernando sighed as he realized he was actually being stupid wasting precious time he could be spending with Sergio right now by sitting here and sulking over something he couldn’t change anyway. It got to him, the fact that he wasn’t able to handle these situations better, especially because he had tried so many times to get over himself and just deal with it. But the problem was in the bigger picture; when things weren’t going so well for him in general and he was already in a dark mood, he couldn’t fight his feelings. And then one thought led to another and the downward spiral began.

Shaking his head at himself, he was about to get up and just force himself to finally talk to Sergio before they ran out of time when his phone buzzed with a notification.

_can u come upstairs please_

Fernando let out a breath of relief and tossed his phone aside with a chuckle. This was so Sergio, texting him while being in the same house and not just out of laziness, but also to make it easy for Fernando to ignore him if he wanted. He never forced him to have a confrontation and Fernando honestly didn’t know how he did that, how he could be so calm and just give him his space and let him come around. But it always worked and suddenly he felt ridiculous for being moody all afternoon and not talking to Sergio about his feelings.

He quickly made his way up the stairs, wondering what might expect him, what Sergio was up to as he looked for him. It could be anything, from needing help choosing a handbag to a panic over having discovered a gray hair.

He went into the bedroom, about to call out when Sergio emerged from the walk-in closet and Fernando stopped dead in his tracks at the sight.

Sergio was fully dressed up in grey dress pants, black shoes, a crisp white button down shirt complete with a tie and a grey long sleeve cardigan. And as if that wasn’t enough, he’d topped it all off with a matching grey hat.

It was a simple outfit, especially for Sergio - no outrageous colors or patterns - but it stood out thanks to the perfect fit and combination of every piece and of course, the hat. It was very old school and Fernando was sure that on anyone else, it would’ve looked like a costume, but Sergio wore it in such a natural way as if he’d never worn anything else in his life. Fernando was speechless for a moment.

“Wow”, was all he could get out, chuckling at how Sergio managed to have this effect on him time and time again. He’d seen him in many different outfits over the years yet Sergio still managed to surprise him, and the way he wore everything with so much confidence made his appearance even more captivating.

Sergio smiled, eyes lighting up in a warm shade of brown as they searched out Fernando’s and met his gaze. “I love when you look at me like that.” 

Fernando’s lips turned up at the corners to mirror Sergio’s expression and he moved closer to him, the tension between them no longer there. “Like you just walked out of a Sherlock Holmes movie?” He reached out, his hands finding the hem of Sergio’s cardigan and gently pulling it straight. It was like a reflex, he couldn’t be this close to Sergio without touching him. 

Sergio laughed warmly, amused. “I’d be the hottest Sherlock Holmes ever.” His voice was loaded with confidence and Fernando wondered why Sergio had wanted him to come upstairs then, if not for a confidence boost regarding his outfit. But then his eye caught onto one detail that actually wasn’t perfect like the rest and he knew why.

“Not with a wonky tie like that, you wouldn’t”, he teased, stroking his hands upwards over Sergio’s chest, itching to adjust the lopsided accessory. It was the one thing Sergio never managed to get right, or maybe he just pretended to fail so that Fernando would do it for him - Fernando didn’t know and he didn’t care either way because he loved putting the finishing touch on Sergio’s look. It had become somewhat like a ritual and there had been occasions where he had talked Sergio into wearing a tie just so he could put it on him.

“Fix it for me? Please?” Sergio’s voice was more quiet now, no longer joking and he had that loving smile on his face again that made Fernando’s insides tingle. He nodded and felt a slight blush creep up on his cheeks as Sergio watched him, his fingers starting to work on the tie redoing it with skilled but gentle movements. 

Sergio was holding completely still, something that didn’t happen often, and there was a different kind of tension building between them now. His eyelids fluttered every time Fernando tugged on the tie, pulling the knot tighter, and when Fernando smoothed down his collar and brushed his fingers against his neck they dropped shut completely. 

Fernando was fully aware of Sergio’s reaction to his touch and with Sergio no longer watching him, he felt more confident and couldn’t resist sliding his fingertips over Sergio’s chest again, caressing and tracing his muscles through his shirt when he was done. He was no longer thinking about what had been bugging him earlier, the impending goodbye, all that mattered now was this intimate moment with Sergio and being close to him.

“All done”, he whispered, leaning in so his lips were almost touching Sergio’s, teasing both of them for just a second before he kissed him, his hands still resting on Sergio’s chest as he brought their lips together and Sergio instantly kissed him back, their mouths moving together slowly, softly, small kisses that gradually became longer and more intense. Sergio’s hands came to rest on his hips, pulling him in and Fernando tried to get even closer, pressing against Sergio as much as possible. 

He could feel Sergio’s heartbeat underneath his palm now, speeding up just like his own and he tilted his head to properly deepen the kiss, forgetting about Sergio’s hat which promptly got knocked off in the process. It fell to the floor with a quiet thud and Fernando pulled back with a surprised sound. Sergio chuckled, keeping him close with the grip on his hips.

“I guess it’s not exactly practical”, he grinned, resting their foreheads together now that the hat was no longer in the way. It seemed he didn’t care too much and Fernando smiled, lost in the moment, and this time it was Sergio who connected their lips again, gentle and warm.

He slowly moved backwards towards the bed, pulling Fernando with him as his hands made their way underneath Fernando’s t-shirt. When he sat down on the edge of the bed, Fernando sank down into his lap while Sergio kept caressing the bare skin of his sides. 

“I don’t wanna leave”, he murmured in between kisses, continuously drawn to Fernando’s lips which didn’t seem to want to pull back either. “I wish I could come with you instead. It’s been so long since I saw you play.”

Fernando shivered, but less at Sergio’s touch and more at his words that suddenly brought his thoughts and doubts from earlier back to him, repossessing him like a demon. The little happy bubble he’d managed to create since he’d come upstairs was gone and he suddenly felt uncomfortable.

Sergio was only trying to be supportive, he knew that but at the same time he could barely appreciate it anymore. He simply didn’t think he deserved it and it felt more like a burden than anything else.

He pulled back from the kiss, trying to create at least some distance between himself and Sergio as he looked down, studying the lines of Sergio’s tattoos on his arms that were visible where his sleeves had moved up. He didn’t actually want to have this conversation again, he was fed up with it and he hated himself for reacting to Sergio’s words, for ruining the mood and letting on that something wasn’t right.

“Hey.” Sergio lightly squeezed Fernando’s hips, rubbing his thumbs over his hip bones to pull him from his thoughts. “Are you nervous for the match? Is that what’s been on your mind?”

Fernando was torn, he could hear the worry and care in Sergio’s voice, knew how much he wanted to help him and he wanted nothing more than to allow it, to let Sergio’s soothing touch calm him down and distract him until his bad thoughts seemed nothing but ridiculous anymore. But still it was incredibly hard for him to admit his feelings, what was bothering him, because he always felt like it shouldn’t be a problem, like he should be long over it by now.

But he wasn’t, and feelings of shame and embarrassment made his cheeks heat up just as the words ran through his mind, and he kept his eyes down while he spoke, not daring to look at Sergio. “I’m not nervous. I won’t play.”

For a moment he felt relieved at finally having said it out loud, it was no longer a secret dragging him down, Sergio knew and he could breathe easy again now. But then Fernando realized that the burden was still there, the burden of what those words meant, of the questions and reactions they would cause and he slumped against Sergio, hiding his face in Sergio’s neck and wrapping his arms around him.

“Oh, Fer…” The way Sergio whispered his name almost sounded like a sigh or a prayer, it gave Fernando goosebumps. For a second he thought Sergio was going to pull back and reject him, but then he felt Sergio’s hand gently cradling the back of his head, protective, stroking his hair and holding him close and another hot wave of embarrassment washed over him for even considering that. Sergio would never push him away.

“What if… what if I already played my last match here without knowing it? What if they make me leave?” Fernando’s voice was low, he didn’t dare say these words too loud in case they would come true, which would be the end of him. He wasn’t ready to leave Atléti, he didn’t know if he ever would be but he certainly wasn’t now. Yet these were the thoughts that had started to haunt him every day in the past few weeks, the more time he spent on the bench.

He tightened his arms around Sergio, feeling so small and wishing he could just disappear in his embrace, quietly sighing into his skin when he felt Sergio place a soft kiss on his temple. “That’s not gonna happen”, he murmured, pressing his nose into Fernando’s hair. “They know they can’t treat you like that. And even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, you’re still helping them. They still need you. Even if it’s not every match.”

Similar thoughts had crossed his mind equally as many times as his doubts had, but hearing them from someone else and Sergio especially had a much different effect on Fernando. He felt himself relax slightly, his racing heartbeat slowing down yet he kept his eyes closed, clinging onto Sergio because he didn’t want to let go yet. He was worried about tonight, when he’d be alone without Sergio, and the days afterwards until they would be reunited.

“Even if things look hopeless now, you have to keep going. The season still isn’t over and you never know when a chance might come up. There’s lots of games left. You can do this.”

He nodded, soaking up Sergio’s words to memorize them for later, so he could replay them in his head over and over again when he was lying in the dark, alone, chasing sleep. Words and memories always helped him in those moments.

“Only because of you”, Fernando whispered. “I couldn’t do this without you.” He turned his head that was still resting on Sergio’s shoulder and opened his eyes, looking up at him, taking in the sight of the man he loved so much and realizing that, despite everything, he was the luckiest person in the world for having Sergio at his side. It made him feel calm and peaceful and he smiled to himself as he leaned in to kiss Sergio’s cheek. “I love you. Thank you for putting up with me.”

Sergio squeezed his sides in response, smiling. “Love you too, angel.”

They sat in silence for a while, lost in thought just holding each other, enjoying being together, until Sergio quietly spoke up again.

“Do you really like the hat?”

It made Fernando laugh, he had not expected a question like that and he also couldn’t believe that Sergio was suddenly questioning his outfit choice again. Or maybe he just wanted to hear how good he looked?

“Of course. It looks fab.” He reached down, picking up the hat and placing it back on Sergio’s head, grinning. “Perfect.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fernando's time at Atleti is over but Sergio also has his own struggles. They support each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never meant for this to take so long but here it is.

_February 21, 2018._

It was early in the afternoon and Sergio was just about to lie down for his pre-match nap. They were playing earlier than usual today and they would leave Valdebebas around 4, so he was looking forward to getting an hour or maybe two of sleep and recharge for later. He took off his sweatpants and climbed into bed, deciding to check his phone one last time out of habit, expecting to maybe find a message from Fernando or René, but instead it looked like all hell had broken loose.

There were several messages from teammates and friends, asking about Fernando, how he was doing, what was going on at Atleti, some emails and a few missed calls, two of them from Saúl but nothing from Fernando himself, and that was what made his stomach drop. Judging from the notifications something was wrong with him and of course Sergio instantly thought of the incident from almost a year ago.

His mind went blank as he just silently prayed that it wasn’t anything like that, fear and helplessness taking over him as he forced his fingers to scroll through his contacts to call back Saúl, his heart beating rapidly while he waited for him to pick up.

“What happened? Why is my phone blowing up? What happened to Fer?”, he started talking as soon as he heard the click indicating the call had been accepted, only getting more impatient by the second. “Saúl?”

Sergio groaned in frustration, ready to hang up again when he could only hear rustling but sadly hanging up wouldn’t get him any further either.

“Sorry, sorry, I dropped my phone, I’m here.” Saúl cleared his throat and Sergio rolled his eyes. “So, um. Have you watched any news? Read any headlines?”

Sergio frowned. If whatever it was had made headlines already, it must have been bad. “No. I don’t read that stuff. Can you tell me what’s going on?”

“Good, that’s good. ‘Cause I’m telling you, they’re blowing this way out of proportion.” Saúl took a deep breath and Sergio felt like he had to climb through the phone any second and strangle him for keeping him waiting like this. “Can you just tell me? Please?” He sounded desperate now but he didn’t care.

“Yes, of course. So. The coach, he said… at the press conference. They asked him about Fer. About next season, if he would fight as much to keep him at the club as he is fighting for Antoine. And he said no. And of course now everyone is making a huge deal about it acting like he said he wanted him gone and…”

Saúl went off on some rant but Sergio had stopped listening. He let his words sink in and while he was glad that Fernando hadn’t got injured he knew that this was still bad, in a different way. Maybe not so much the message itself, as Fernando had been aware for a while that he wasn’t the coach’s first choice anymore. But having it put into words like that, and for the whole world to hear, too, a public humiliation, that was upsetting.

He cursed quietly, running a hand through his hair as he tried to imagine Fernando’s reaction, how he must be feeling and how he was dealing with the situation. “Sorry, I zoned out”, he interrupted Saúl’s monologue, ignoring the light chuckle on the other end. “Did you speak to him? Did he say anything? I don’t think he’s gonna answer if I call him now…”

Saúl hesitated to answer and Sergio knew what that meant. “So no.” Great. This was not what he needed right before a match.

“I tried to talk to him but he just left without a word, you know him”, Saúl tried to explain and Sergio nodded. “I know. I don’t blame you, man.” He chewed on his lip trying to figure out what to do now. If he should try calling Fernando, hoping he had maybe brushed it off enough now to talk to him. On the other hand if Fernando didn’t pick up, he’d feel even more frustrated and helpless and he couldn’t really risk that when he had to be fully focused on the pitch in a few hours.

“Will you do me a favor and check on him? I won’t be home until late.” He checked his watch, around 8 more hours. It seemed so long now, especially when he thought about Fernando being alone with his thoughts.

“Sure. I’ll stop by when I walk the dogs. Don’t worry, okay?” 

He sighed and nodded. “Okay.” It was hard to sit back and not be able to do anything, but he had no choice now. “Thank you. Take care.”

***

When Sergio came home after the match, his adrenaline level had returned to normal and he just wanted to get to bed, tiredness starting to set in. It was dark inside the house except for the dim light Fernando had left on for him as always, and it was enough for him to notice the two small sets of shoes that were standing next to the door.

Fernando’s kids were here and it made him smile in relief. Fernando was always happier when his kids were over and today they would have distracted him from what had happened earlier.

He dropped his things by the door and went up the stairs, taking a quiet glance into Nora and Leo’s room and also Elsa’s, all three of them sound asleep, before entering the master bedroom. Fernando was in bed already, curled up on his side, only revealing that he was actually awake when Sergio slid in next to him.

“Hi.” His voice sounded sleepy as he rolled over, eyes still closed and he just wrapped himself around Sergio, his way of silently asking for comfort.

“Hey, angel.” Sergio placed a light kiss on Fernando’s forehead before moving to lie on his back and pulling Fer against his chest, holding him close. “I missed you.” He felt tense in his arms and Sergio started rubbing a hand up and down his spine, trying to help him relax and switch off. He could tell Fernando was still thinking about the day’s events, the words and headlines probably replaying in his head over and over again. He wondered if Fernando would say anything about it or whether he should ask him, but then decided not to bring it up first, going for a neutral topic instead.

“The kids are here?”

Fernando hummed in response. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not.” Sergio moved his hand up into Fernando’s hair, lightly tugging on the short streaks. “Did you have a nice afternoon together?”

Fernando hummed again, snuggling a little closer into the embrace. “Saul came by and the kids played with his dogs. I could barely get them to focus on their homework afterwards, they were so excited.” He chuckled quietly before continuing. “Elsa actually asked Saul if she could keep one of his dogs and then she didn’t stop talking about it all night.”

Sergio had to laugh as he imagined that conversation, wishing he could have been there. He also made a mental note to thank Saul again for sticking to his word and cheering Fernando up. “Hopefully she’ll have forgotten about it by tomorrow. Or do you think a plushie will do?”

That suggestion earned him a snort by Fernando. “Don't act like you don't know how stubborn she is. Sometimes you could think she's actually _your_ daughter.”

“Hey now”, Sergio pouted. “What's that supposed to mean?”

Fernando raised himself up to look at Sergio in the dark, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Just that you're stubborn sometimes. But I like that.” He leaned in for a kiss. “Mostly, anyway.”

Sergio grinned against Fernando's lips, happy that he seemed more relaxed and at ease now. They kissed for a moment, calm and with no rush, just focused on each other.

“How was the match?”, Fernando eventually asked, barely pulling back, his hand stroking Sergio’s cheek.

“You didn’t watch?” Sergio couldn’t help sounding a bit disappointed. Watching each other’s matches was their ritual, although he had already suspected Fernando might have had other things on his mind than watching a football match that night.

“Of course I did. The kids, too”, Fernando tore him from his thoughts, quickly reassuring him with another kiss. “But I want to hear it from you.”

Sergio's heart did a little flip at those words, it was just a simple question but the fact that Fernando always asked him about his day or game, cared to hear about his view of things even when he had watched the game or knew the result already, made Sergio feel so loved and cared about.

He blushed, feeling silly now for thinking Fernando had missed the match and he was glad it was dark so Fernando wouldn't notice.

“It was good. A bit rough but I'm used to that”, Sergio smirked. “And I scored.”

“You were ice cold with that penalty.” Fernando smiled before kissing him again. “I'm proud of you.”

Those words had a different effect on Sergio and he just managed to hold back a moan. He had a thing for compliments and praise like that, and Fernando knew it. Forgotten were his worries about the news from earlier, all that mattered to Sergio now was being with Fernando. He deepened their kiss, pulling Fernando even closer, their bodies pressed tightly together.

He could feel Fernando's hand moving lower on his back to stroke along the waistband of his briefs, fingertips slipping underneath and he arched into the touch, prompting him for more. But Fernando didn't seem in a rush, teasing him and so Sergio decided to take charge, pushing him over onto his back and holding himself up on his arms, hovering over Fernando and teasingly breaking the kiss - until a sharp jolt of pain shot through his shoulder and he collapsed onto Fernando with a hiss, unable to support himself any longer.

For a second he felt nothing but pain, face pressed into the pillow so he barely registered how Fernando gently slid out from under him and turned on the bedside lamp as he cursed himself for being so thoughtless and not minding his shoulder.

“Your shoulder again?”, Fernando asked him, voice and expression laced with concern and Sergio knew it was no use denying it, not when Fernando had seen him like this.

“Yeah.”

He groaned frustratedly, trying to focus on his breathing instead of the pain that was only slowly fading.

“Did you tell the physio?”

“Hmmm.” Sergio took a few more deep breaths before turning his head to the side again, blinking at Fernando in the dim light. “I told him it'd be okay for the night. They'll do tests on it tomorrow.”

It hadn't hurt more after the match than the knocks he got all the time so he had turned down the offer of an injection of painkillers, something he slightly regretted now as his thoughts were drifting in a direction he didn't like.

What if it was something more serious than he'd thought? If he had to sit out some games? It would be the worst timing, now that the season was starting to pick up, both in the liga and UCL. The team needed him. Being sidelined for anything longer than a couple days would be a disaster. He sighed. That damn shoulder, always causing nothing but problems. 

“It'll be okay”, Fernando tried to reassure him, his hand reaching out and carefully touching the top of his shoulder, feeling it. The pain was almost gone now but he still winced when Fernando pressed down on it lightly.

“Sorry.” Fernando instantly removed his hand. “It's very warm though. Do you want me to put something on it?”

Sergio nodded. He closed his eyes and thought about the irony of the situation, how he was actually supposed to comfort Fernando after the awful day he'd had but instead it was the other way round now, Fernando taking care of him. It wasn't how he had planned for this to unfold and he did feel a bit guilty about it. But with how late it was, he didn’t think it would be very useful to address Fernando’s situation now. They could talk about it tomorrow he thought as he felt himself close to drifting off.

The next thing he was aware of was something cool on his shoulder, a pleasant sensation soothing the remainder of the pain paired with the tender movement of Fernando’s hands, skillfully spreading the gel on his skin. The rest of his body was limp and heavy and he just felt relaxed now.

“I’m thinking about retiring.”

The words sounded dull, taking a moment to get through to his brain and when he finally understood them, the actual meaning, Sergio wasn’t sure whether he had dreamed this or if Fernando had really said them. Was he awake or asleep?

The words echoed in his skull. _I’m thinking about retiring._ Wait, what?

“What?”

He tried to sit up, his limbs slow and still in sleep mode, but Fernando held him down with a hand on his unhurt shoulder. “Just listen.”

He groaned quietly, head sinking back into the pillow, still feeling somewhat surreal, unsure if this wasn’t a dream after all.

“This is gonna be my last season at Atleti.” There was a pause and Sergio knew they were really having this conversation because he could feel, even in his current state, that it hadn’t been easy for Fernando to say this out loud. The silence was so telling, it was like Fernando was radiating hurt. Sergio’s instinct was to do something, to turn over and kiss him or hug him or shake him, but Fernando still wasn’t letting him up. So he lay there quietly, waiting for Fernando to continue.

“I… I never imagined it would end like this. I never wanted to run away, I wanted to fight. But today I found out that the fight is over because there’s no chance of winning.”

He heard Fernando take a deep breath, his hand idly tracing a pattern on Sergio’s shoulder blade now. Sergio didn’t know if that made him shiver or how low and vulnerable Fernando’s voice sounded.

“So maybe it’s time for me to stop. I mean… I’ve been playing for so long. I’m not getting any younger, maybe I really can’t keep up anymore. And I’d have more time for the kids, for you. For us.”

Fernando’s voice cracked at the last words and his hand stilled. The silence was deafening now, Fernando’s words lingering in the air heavily and Sergio could barely take it. This was not a conversation he had been prepared to have on that day, or ever actually. He had always avoided thinking about it because he’d had no idea how he would approach it, and now he wished he hadn’t just ignored it.

He couldn’t stand to imagine Fernando giving up football, the idea of never sharing a pitch with him again, whether on the same team or as opponents. Sure, it rarely happened now but at least there was always the hope that somehow he would return to the national team, or that he would start the next derbi. But if he retired, it would never happen again.

And then there was the part of football being and dictating their whole life, and what would happen if that suddenly didn’t apply to Fernando anymore? Would their relationship fall apart if their lives took such different turns, Sergio continuing his career while Fernando was forced to watch from the sidelines? Or could it be the first step towards a more normal life, outside of the focus of the media and public?

There were so many questions popping up in his head, Sergio felt overwhelmed yet he knew that it would only be a fraction of what Fernando had to be experiencing right now. Countless questions and doubts, topped with shattered self-esteem and all that caused by just a few words.

Sergio balled his fists as he felt anger added to the mix of feelings bubbling up inside of him, he knew how hard Fernando had been working not just to be in top shape physically but also mentally, to not let the criticism get to him, to pick himself up after every blow, every match he didn’t play or score and he knew Fernando had struggled to not let it break him at times. But Sergio also knew that anger and resentment wouldn’t help him comfort Fernando now. 

He realized Fernando hadn’t said anything in a while and he also couldn’t feel his hand on his back anymore. “Fer?”, he asked quietly, not receiving a reaction so he slowly turned over. Fernando was just sitting there next to him, legs crossed and staring down into his lap. Sergio couldn’t tell if he was crying but he looked crushed.

It hurt and it made it easy to ignore the pain flaring up in his shoulder again as he sat up and reached out for Fernando, touching his hands. “Hey.” Sergio scooted closer so he could wrap his arms around Fernando and hold him, make him feel that he was not alone in this and that he would always be with him, no matter how painful the outcome would be.

“Today was a lot to take in. Let’s get some rest and tomorrow we can talk about everything.” He squeezed his arms around Fernando, who was now leaning heavily against him, and placed a reassuring kiss to his temple. “It’s gonna be alright, angel. We’ll get through this. Don’t worry.”

Fernando didn’t respond but he didn’t have to. Sergio knew his words were important to him and that he was listening. He reached over and turned off the light before pulling Fernando to lie down with him, still holding him close to his chest, warm and tight. He dozed off almost immediately, just after hearing Fernando whispering _I love you_ with a kiss to his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated. Thank you for reading!


End file.
